How I Lost My Name: Chapter 1

I still remember the day when everything changed.

It was a Saturday in early November. The weather was shit – cold and rainy – but our fridge was empty. I knew Jackie wouldn’t want to go out in the rain and she was still sleeping in anyway. It was the weekend after all; her policy was to sleep in. Sometimes we’d go grocery shopping together, but I liked surprising her. I loved spoiling her.

It was nearly noon by the time I got back. I could hear music playing from the bedroom; I assumed she was probably taking a shower. As I headed into the kitchen, grocery bags rustling about my legs, I paused as I set them down on our kitchen counter as two things slowly occurred to me. I didn’t hear the telltale sound of the shower in use, but I did hear her soft moans coming from our bedroom. 

My cock twitched as my imagination barrelled ahead on its own. There have been a few occasions when I came home and found her playing with herself. I loved secretly watching, I found it so sensual to see the way she enjoyed herself…and then I’d join in the fun when I couldn’t stand it anymore. 

I walked to our bedroom quietly, silently inching down the short hallway before carefully peering around the corner at our bed. As my eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, the excited voyeur in me looked on eagerly, impatient to take in every detail while lurking in the shadows. By the time I could regret taking in the scene before me, it was too late. 

Another man was grunting on top of Jackie as his hips pistoned into her rhythmically. I could hear her little pants and moans from beneath him, her little mewled cries of “Yea, nn-yes, right there, oh fuck…” but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his chiseled ass, watching the muscles clench and unclench as his heavy balls slapped against her wet cunt. 

I realized, in hindsight, that I was numb with shock. I was rooted to the spot when my first reaction should’ve been to go over there. I should’ve angrily pulled him off of her, told him to fuck right off and punched him out. 

But I didn’t. I was frozen and I couldn’t look away.

My eyes slowly traveled up past his thighs, up his toned back, taking in his wide, muscled shoulders. I felt a pang in my chest as I realized that I was mentally comparing myself to him. Where did I stand in her eyes? Was he better than me? Was it because he was more built than me?

Numbness started to slowly be edged out by nausea. The longer I stood there, with each passing second, the more I realized that I felt a little sick – sick with envy. How long had she been cheating on me? Was this the first time, or…? 

I didn’t want to think about it. 

We’d been dating for over six months then and while my friends joked that she was out of my league, I’d always been confident that I could make her happy. 

Or at least, I’d thought I could.

Now I couldn’t help but wonder and uncertainty crept into the mix of roiling emotions in my chest. 

It all froze like icicles in my gut when my eyes made my way up to her. At first, I could barely see her face, hidden under the bulk of him. Then, with startling clarity, I realized that I was looking straight into her dark eyes – they were glittering with laughter. 

How long had she known that I’d been standing there, watching her get fucked by another man? Was it just my imagination or did her moans seem more emphasized now? Almost as if she liked knowing that I was watching while she writhed under another man. 

Her slender legs wrapped around his waist, toes pointed like a ballerina’s. Her hands slid down to her sides, traveling under his thighs to spread her labia further apart, showing off her slick pussy to me as his girth violated it in front of my eyes. I watched, eyes wide, as his thick cock stretched her tight hole each time he buried himself in her. 

Too late, I saw her toes curl as her thighs squeezed tight against his hips. Too late, I saw her fingers dig into his back as she breathily whimpered under him. Too late, I heard their intermingled cries of ecstasy as he came deep in her core. 

There was a brief moment of silence as their panted breaths intermingled, foreheads pressed against each other, before it was broken by a shared chuckle. Far too intimately, she kissed him on the lips – soft and sweet – it lingered for just a second too long before he pulled away and rolled off of her. His thick cock was still hard as he slid out of her, leaving her well-used pussy a sloppy mess as his cum slowly dribbled out. As he settled on the other side of the bed and laid back to relax, she shifted upwards so that she was held upright by the mound of pillows behind her. 

I refused to look at him. Refused to let my eyes drift over and acknowledge him. But I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her.

“Did you like that?” Her question was obviously aimed at me, our eyes connected as I stared stoically at her. I wondered what my expression looked like. Was I keeping a poker face? Or could she see right through me? Was she aware of the crazy mix of emotions I was experiencing?

“I know you like watching…so I thought I’d give you a treat this time.” She laughed and it felt like a slap to my face. It was strange that she still looked so beautiful to me, smiling coyly at me despite what I’d just witnessed. A cold and selfish beauty. “I missed Alex’s cock in me,” she purred before sighing wistfully. 

Alex. The name was another slap to the face. Her ex. 

He leaned in to kiss her on the shoulder before grinning over at me. “Hey man.” I couldn’t stand seeing his smug face. 

At the same time, I found myself remembering all the times she’d made passing comments about him. Comments that I had always shrugged off with a laugh, because they hadn’t meant anything…or so I’d thought…  

The way he fucked her like a ragdoll. How his cock was so thick she was surprised her pussy was still so tight. How he came so heavily and in such copious amounts that she could feel him filling her with cum like water in a balloon. 

“It’s been so long since my pussy’s felt full,” she gave a satisfied sigh. “I needed a proper fuck.” 

I could tell that she was being purposely dramatic, that she was enjoying every second of belittling me. She was practically purring, like the cat that got the cream, except it was spilling out between her legs rather than dripping from her lips.

“It’s too bad you weren’t here to see how wet he made me, but look at how much he’s stretched my little hole~” I couldn’t look away as she spread her legs wide for me, as her fingers spread her cum smeared lips apart to give me a perfect view of her used pussy as his load dripped out of her. 

It was like my words had frozen in my chest along with my emotions. Or maybe it’s better to say that I was so numb, I couldn’t even think. I stood silently before the two, struck mute and dumb. I couldn’t muster the anger to rush at them, couldn’t even manage to turn and walk away. 

“Mm~ I love how sloppy I feel after he’s done with me. Just look at how many fingers I can fit in myself now.” Her slender fingers slid into herself to demonstrate. First two, which was typically a tight squeeze for her, then three. “I bet your little cock could fit too, even with my fingers inside~”

I hadn’t realized how dry my throat had gotten. I tried to swallow, only to cough uncomfortably. Her giggling began like a musical peal only to cut off abruptly before her voice pitched low and seductive. “How long are you going to stand there gaping like an idiot? Get over here and lick me clean already. You know you want to…”

Looking back, maybe this was the moment that everything changed. Or maybe I was already doomed. 

Why I did what I did? I can’t say. 

Logically, I should’ve walked away.

Instead, my feet moved robotically forwards. Hesitantly at first, even defiantly almost. But her encouraging smile drew me forwards like a puppeteer pulling an invisible string and I realized, almost shamefully, that I could feel my rigid cock straining against the zipper of my pants. 

I found myself standing next to her. She looked up at me quizzically, looking slightly annoyed. With one swift motion, her hand was gripping my crotch through my pants. My breath hitched as I felt her grip me firmly, cupping my balls and giving them a squeeze before roughly stroking my erect cock. Her smile only broadened as she confirmed how hard I was. 

“Pathetic,” she sneered, the smile never leaving her lips. “See Alex? I told you he’d be hard. I knew I was right.You really are a cuck~” She giggled after she said the word. Cuck.

It rang strangely in my ears. Foreign sounding on her tongue.

But maybe I knew, deep down, that it was simply the first time I was hearing the truth. My raw essence, exposed.

With that word ringing in my ears, I let out a surprised, strangled gasp as her fingers dug into my balls through my pants. 

“Well, cucky? What are you waiting for? A formal invitation? Get your face where it fucking belongs already!” Her command was barked out followed by a sharp slap to my balls and I found myself obeying even as I winced in pain. My body was on auto-pilot as I found myself kneeling between her, her calves resting behind my shoulders. 

As I got up close and personal with her creamy thighs, I was gripped by nausea as the reality of the situation hit me. I was about to eat his cum. But she didn’t give me time to hesitate as her legs wrapped around me, pushing my face into her even as she grinded her hips against my mouth. 

I almost gagged as the taste of his cum hit my tongue, but I shoved the thought away and tried to lose myself in her instead. Tried to think that the sliminess was simply how wet she was for me. Tried to think that her hips were squirming from pleasure as she rode my tongue. 

I was convinced that her thighs were latched firmly around my head with the intent to suffocate me. 

I forgot that Alex was watching even though I knew he was right next to us. Only able to breathe her in, deprived of air while eating her, tasting her, breathing her…it was a heady sensation. My world was suddenly narrowed down to soft, hot and wet and I realized that my cock had never ached so much before, I was so fucking hard. 

I ached so much, I wanted to make her ache with me. I wanted to make her cum because of me. I wanted to devour her. My hips began squirming against the bed, grinding myself against the mattress like a desperate bitch in heat as I desperately tried to immerse myself in her.

“Are you…are you humping the bed trying to get yourself off?” Her gleeful laughter, along with her pointed words, stung my pride, breaking me out of my lust fueled haze, and I felt shame course through me while she and Alex laughed at my pathetic behavior. 

Suddenly, cool air washed across my face. Before I could process why, I found myself staring stupidly up at her while her nails dug into my cheeks as she held my face in a firm grip. 

“I don’t remember giving you permission to do that.” Her eyes glittered mischievously at me and I could tell that some sinister idea must be dancing in her head. “Who said you could hump the bed like an animal, huh? I thought you had better manners than that.” I was sure that her nails were going to leave indentations in my skin. I could feel her phantom grip even when she let go, only for the palm of her hand to crack against my cheek. She hadn’t hit me very hard, but it stung enough to leave me stunned. 

The next thing I knew, the bottom of her dainty foot was planted against my face as she used me to push herself back onto her pillows. Clambering onto her knees, she pushed me back so that I found myself lying awkwardly on the bed while she climbed atop me. 

“How rude of you, trying to cum before I do.” She paused to sit on my crotch, grinding her messy pussy against my straining cock, purposely smearing my pants with her mixed juices. 

My hands fisted at my sides, fingers digging into and gripping the bed sheets, the blanket…whatever I could grab onto as I helplessly let her grind against me. I closed my eyes, not wanting to watch her tantalizing form writhing above me, but even with my eyes closed I could see her taunting smile and the soft sway of her breasts. I groaned through gritted teeth as my hips bucked up against her, unable to hold back. Fuck, I just wanted to push her down and rip my pants off so I could shove my rock hard cock into her warm hole.

The slap quickly broke me out of my needy fantasy. She’d stopped teasing me as soon as I’d bucked up against her and my face was firmly in her grasp again. Her silky burgundy waves curtained down the side of my face as I found myself staring up at her once again. This time, she leaned in close so that our noses were only inches apart before whispering to me, “You’re nothing but my toy, and toys don’t move.” She reeled back with another giggle, eyes dancing with laughter. “This isn’t Toy Story after all!”

Looking down at me, she smirked. “What are you?”

I blinked at her dumbly, not knowing what to say. This only earned me a quick slap to the face before her nails dug back in as she repeated the question. “What. Are. You?”

“Y-Your…toy.” I stammered as I remembered her last comment. I knew it was the right answer when her lips curled into a satisfied smile. 

“That’s right,” she purred approvingly, “You’re nothing but my toy. Say it.”

“I-I’m nothing but your toy…”

“And what do toys do?”

“Toys…don’t move.”

“Mhmm~ Now stick your tongue out and don’t you dare fucking move…”

Obediently, I stuck my tongue out as far as I could while she clambered atop me. For a brief moment, I found myself admiring the lovely view before she sat on my face. Her hips began slowly gyrating against my tongue and while I wanted to lap eagerly at her, the words toys don’t move kept running through my mind.

I let her use my mouth as needed and tried my best not to squirm. Her fingers laced through my hair, holding me in place, the other held onto the bed frame as she fucked my face. She rode my tongue hard as she pressed her swollen clit and soaking cunt against me. It was all I could do to keep my tongue pointed for her to grind upon. My jaw ached and my hips occasionally thrusted upwards as I craved even a tiny bit of friction against my throbbing cock while I suffocated beneath her. 

It was when her fingers fisted through my hair, tugging me painfully in place as she frantically rubbed her clit against my tired tongue that I knew she was close. The thought excited me and my leaking cock twitched as I anticipated her orgasm. 

My eyes almost teared up as she came, her grip on my hair so strong that I was sure she’d pull a handful of my hair out. I opened wide, greedily lapping up her wetness as she squirted all over my face, causing me to blink and splutter even as she pressed me deep into her. I could feel her pussy clenching down, shuddering against my tongue while she smothered me. I couldn’t breathe, only revel in the feeling of her thighs trembling against my cheeks as the waves of her orgasm crashed through her.

Part of me wondered if I might die from lack of air.

As she finally fell away from me, satisfied, I felt a sticky warmth in my pants and realized that I’d cum while delirious under her. 

She curled up next to Alex, snuggling into his arms and that was the beginning of my new role as their cuckold…

–     –     –     –     –

Later, as Alex was getting ready to leave, I was sulkily putting the groceries away in the kitchen. Part of me felt ecstatic, thrilled at the release from before – I’d never cum like that before, hands free and without stimulation. Once I’d been pulled in, it’d all felt so…natural. 

But the other part of me couldn’t help but feel conflicted, confused as I tried to wrap my mind around everything that had just happened. It’d all occurred so quickly, a blur of hot, slick, hedonistic pleasure. I was still trying to fully grasp it, make sense of the range of emotions I was experiencing.

As I absentmindedly unloaded the shopping bags, I could hear Alex and Jackie’s conversation filtering down the hallway from our front door. 

“That was amazing babe,” even though I could only hear it, I could see them kissing in my mind’s eye. Alex’s voice was brusque and I wondered if he was lingering in the hopes of bending Jackie over again. Mentally, I saw him nibbling at her ear, nuzzling his face against the crook of her neck as he pressed her against the wall. A flash of jealousy had me squeezing the cucumber I’d just grabbed in a white knuckled grip. I tossed it into the fridge before I managed to bruise it further..

“When will I see you again?” It was obvious he was hoping for another taste sooner rather than later.

“Mm, we’ll see,” she replied noncommittally, “I’ll text you.” I wondered if she patted the side of his face the same way she often did to me – a fond, yet dismissive gesture. 

“I’ll be waiting for your text then.” Was that the slightest tinge of disappointment in his voice? “Will…he…?” Uncertainty hung in the air as his question remained unspoken. An embarrassed pause. “Shit, sorry, what’s his name again?”

“A.S.?” It surprised me to hear her referring to me by my initials.

“Yeah.”

“You can just call him A.S., his real name doesn’t matter.” I wasn’t sure if I should feel insulted or not.

“Alright. So is A.S. gonna be popping in like that again next time?”

“Hehe, we’ll see…”

Her little giggle, so deceptively sweet, had my heart racing as I wondered what she had in store for us. 

I didn’t have to wait long to find out.

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